Friday, July 31, 2009

UnPlanned Vacation: Shipped Out

"OMG! It's huge!" Teko cried out as we pulled the vehicle into harbor. We had been planning this vacation together for a long time. We decided to go on a cruise, We took a plane to Australia, Where we would be getting on the cruise ship, Then the ship would sail along the Indian Ocean for two weeks! "What's the Ship's name?" Neko asked.
"The Explorer of the Seas, kinda lame... For a name, I would have personally named it Neko and Teko's Adventure Sea Expedition." Teko explained.
Soon, we got on the cruise ship. "This is as big as the Titanic!" We exclaimed.
After we unpacked the ship set off. With over 200 passengers, not only like 1000 rooms, But also a waterpark, gym and a spa. (and much more) Teko pulled out a water proof bag and put her laptop in it. "Why did you bring a waterproof bag?" Neko asked. "Doesn't hurt to be pepared does it?" Teko replied. We loved the ship. After a while, we headed to upper deck where we observed the water. Then that's when our perfectly planned vacation took some unplanned turns. "Come on. Take a picture of me in this blow up boat for the emergency things." Neko begged. Teko had taken the laptop with her for some reason and put it in the boat. "Hey, I want to come in." Teko crawled into the boat. Teko accientally tripped over a little wire. Then the boat started to lower into the water. "great." We said at the same time. After yelling for help our cries were muffled by the sound of the boat and the talking people. "Looks theres land." Teko called out. Over around a mile away was some land. We started paddling with the two wooden paddles in the boat. Finally we got to land. China? We gasped as we looked ahead.
To be Contiuned!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

With the Inuits and Polar Bears

Have you ever wanted to travel to the arctic? See the large polar bears gleefully playing and the snowy white arctic wolves as a pack? Well, go to the Toronto Zoo's new arctic exhibit. We, Neko and Teko, spent the night in a wigwam surrounded by snow. The male bear was showing off to his girlfriends, who were uninterested, by standing up and showing them his muscles. These bears look like they are white, but in reality, their skin is black!While the Eskimos were beating the drums in a monotonized rhythm, the wolves howled along. In the wild, they will actually eat their entire meal, including the bones!
In the large exhibit, there are also snowy owls. They have great camouflage as they are purely , some with black specks. Like bats, they are nocturnal; they sleep during the day. Neko and Teko both wonder if they snore like dads do!
Polar bears have wolverines abs! Arctic wolves are carnivores! And most importantly, owls snore!
This is Neko and Teko reporting from the arctic. ( Where the people are snoring!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

How Much is the Chemical Filled Fish?

This fish is a Guppy. Guppies have long top fins and wide tails.
They come in many colors.
Neko used to have 3 guppies.
They died in the first week.
Soon, We found out why when we visited the fish store where we bought the fish.
"Guppies, are very delicate they are injected with chemicals and shipped in tiny little bags, that are crowded. Plus, they are given lots of medicine so their color will last.
I suggest only professionals handle guppies. I don't think It's right to do that to fish, they are like people, but with fins." A smart Staff member stated.
We both agreed. This is serious, many beautiful fish are dieing every day because us humans, just don't care and want them to be bright colored! Like the Bubbled Eyed goldfish. Breed so bubbles come under their eyes and they can only see up. Why?
So little kids can laugh when they bump into things.
We think it is cruel.

Even wolverine wouldn't be this cruel.
Maybe, Iron man would when he is drunk.
Do you think fish should have to suffer for our amusement?
Sticking needles into fish so they can have bright colors?
Most fish are born with color. Like Guppies and neon tetras. But, Guppies have needles stuck into them, because they cannot see the beauty of the guppy the way it is. Us, Humans always want more, we are never thankful for what we do have.
Fish are silent all they ask for is lakes and oceans that are clean. But, do we listen?
NO! Because we are greedy.
Neon Tetras are born naturally with this color for a reason.
But, when say a fish that is brown to blend in with the sand is died a bright blue and relished back into the wild they have hard chances of surviving because they can not hide from their predators.
Another thing is betas. Aka Fighting fish, they are always put in these tiny tanks that they can hardly swim in.
They can't be kept together because they fight. Some people are so cruel, that they buy Fighting Fish that purpose: to watch them fight.
Betta fish are rarely kept as pets, they are kept in homes are ornaments in these small bowls they can hardly fit in.
If you want a Betta Fish, only buy one and get at least a two gallon tank.
I don't know but I think Betta fish may be injected with chemicals too.
We should just be thankful for the beauty that comes natural to the fish.
Some people also breed fish to death. Forcing them to breed. (I will not mention how they do it)
But it is cruel let's say that.
If you want a fish do lots of research and try to buy one that does not have chemicals in them. Tetras are quite strong. By, keeping the oceans and lakes clean. Not only will the fish live. But, we will be able to have a healthier world too!
Keeping the world Green!
If you have any questions.
Feel, free to leave a comment!
This is Neko and Teko Reporting from the fishie store!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Fans of Zac Efron

Since, We got to see Zac Efron get an award for the best teeth... We decided to have a little "fun."
I can't believe Yahoo and Coca Cola really invest in dumb stuff like awards on the red carpet for the best teeth.
One girl, What was her name? Ya Vanessa Hudgens won an award for the biggest obsession with Harry Potter's nose.
Zac says that he is proud of his award that coca cola bought from dollarama Just for Him!
Plus, Coca Cola invented Santa's red suit. (Sorry Kids, Santa is not real) Celebs confess that they prefer google because, Yahoo is to furstrating and is to weird.
Screaming fans shouted out to "Zacy." Telling him how much they love him.
Once Zac got into his Limo, I decided to ask some girls Why they like Zac.
"I like him when he eats Oreo Cakesters!" She fainted.
"I just like his teeth, I want to squeese them!" An Emo goat said.
Yes, Goats are emo! Well, some are.
Emo goats dip their hair in lemonade!
Zac Efron used to be an Emo goat until he drank his lemonade and ZAP! He got cool teeth and became a star using a new product called. "Become a Star a nator." Phienus and Ferb built it!
We are bored now. The only interesting decent star is Lady Ga Ga and he weird tattos.
Plus, Tattos can give you wings and you can fly off into the Red Bull world where goats fly and snakes drink Red Bull, and when people overdose on red bull they die!
Plus, The Red Carpet, was bought at Dollarama.
So is the New Zac Efron Teeth stickers that you can put on your keyboard!
Hope you enjoyed some of this CELEB dirt!
Plus, I got some dirt Zac Efron stepped on and put it in my coffee.
I don't like coffee but Dirt is got in coffee.
Expecially Celeb dirt!
This is Neko and Teko reporting live from the Red Carpet.
(They have their own gift shop)

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Cab and the Dinosaur

We got the chance to hear this amazing story from Zach Cleverland. A taxi driver. We were on the scene. On the side of the road was Zach Cleverland covered in saliva, His Cab was all scratched. "So, Zach are you a taxi driver?" We asked him. "Yes, and an artist on the side." He replied as he took a blob of goo from his hair and threw it to the road. "What happened?" Teko asked. "Well.." He took a deep breath. "I'll tell you." "I was going home for the day, my shift was done, I started up my cab and drove around 2 Cm then this flying Dinosaur came and ate me. I was shocked of course, Soon, I found myself in the stomach of this beast. I knew there was probably only one way to get out. So, I waited and painted a picture. I had my art supplies in the cab. I was covered in saliva too. I painted what the creature looked like. (He gave us a copy of the picture)
Then, The weirdest thing happened. This Sandwich Guy was somehow there, He just appeared, and he called over this Blue Guy who gave my half of a sandwich, which I ate up of course I was hungry. "How did you get a sandwich in here?" I asked them.
"We have little secrets" They said. The blue guy looked like a alien with blue wrinkly skin. The Sandwich guy had these big dorky glasses. I was not very fond of them I admit. Anyway, I started to get worried, I have 5000 kids at home, and I started to miss my office and my regular cup of hot coco. Plus, I was curious, were dinosaurs supposed to be dead? So I asked the blue guy if there was a way to get out of here.
"Oh yes." He took out a feather out of an unknown pocket. I drew it later just now.
It was a rainbow colored. The blue guy then started tickling the stomach of the flying beast. It started shaking and then The Beast burped and out I came.
Then, I realized I was covered in saliva and I painted the feather quickly and I better take a shower." Zach Told us his shocking story.
"Thanks for letting us interview you!" We called out!
"No Problem." He said back.
Well, that was a shocking story of the Cab and the Dinosaur.
Scientists are at work now seeing if it is possible for flying dinosaurs to be alive.
This Blue Guy is popping up a lot. EWWWW! GROSS! Teko just stepped into a big glob of dinosaur saliva. There is a ton on the street. I started laughing. Then EWWW! I stepped in a glob too. In minutes Scientists were swarming us picking up some of the gross globs and putting them in little bags. Probably For tests.
Anyway, Hope you enjoyed this shocking story that we reported on first!
This is Neko and Teko reporting from Dinosaur Saliva infested areas on the street!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The SandWich Guy

The Sandwich Guy?
Who is he?
Well, we are going to tell you!
Neko and Teko are the ones who reported this first!
The Sandwich guy, You don't want to meet him:
We will tell you why later.
The Sandwich guy is bald and wears these ugly dorky glasses.
He can make tons of Sandwiches.
From Gossip Sandwich to Zoo Sandwich.
He is used for punishment. Now we'll tell you why he is dangerous.
Here is the Story of John Sheridan when he met the sandwich guy.

John had been captured for no reason. Just because he had planned to attack earth and kill the President. Anyway, It was his second day of being locked up. John had been shocked many times by the Ugly rubber thing on his neck that smelt of burnt rubber. When John thought it couldn't get any worse....It did. In he walked, With his dorky glasses, and a wrapped up Sandwich in his hand he directed John to a metal chair, This man was the Sandwich Guy, The Sandwich guy sat down and unwrapped a sandwich, he started eating it. Then John said he wanted a sandwich. The Sandwich Guy called over a blue guy and he gave John half of his sandwich.

Why is
The Sandwich Guy so Dangerous?
Because he will call over the blue guy and the blue guy will give you half of his sandwich, Also Wolverine doesn't like the Sandwich guy.
This is Neko and Teko reporting from John Sheridan's office where he told us the horrible Story of the Sandwich guy.

Warning, Don't take a sandwich from the Blue Guy!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Lady Ga Ga-Paparazzi

Do you think Lady Ga Ga is tired of the Paparazzi?
We got to Interview her.
"What do you want in your life? What is your goal?" We asked her.
"I want to take one of Wolverine's Abs, and put it in a purse and name it Meap!" She said.
"I'm not that tired of the Paparazzi, I like the attention, and I devoted a whole song to them, so they are not that bad, I don't like that guy in the video though." (see lady gaga's Paparazzi video)
Anyway, The new fashion tread, Wolverine's abs in pets are supposedly cute in purses. Well, You know what they say, Do what Lady Gaga says, Or do they say that?
Ps, Lady Ga Ga dresses weird. Anyway, Don't you love the Paparazzi, they make such good songs about us don't they?
This is the Paparazzi signing out.
AKA Neko and Teko

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Harry Potter Hits the Big Screen

Harry Potter just hit the Big Screen with his New movie: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
It's not a movie I would see. Look at him. Look at Harry Potter, He never smiles in that photo he just farted and his face is still Serious. See that is His Serious Farting Face.
Anyway, I should not be making fun of his Farting Face because every one has a different Farting Face.
Anyway, at the Permeire of the New Harry Potter Movie: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
Harry Potter rode in on his Fart powered broomstick. (with his serious fart face of course) and was carrying his DVD of the Harry Potter Movie: The Half Blood Prince. Then with the DVD he hit the big screen and slammed right into it. Harry Potter was not embarrassed at all. People just looked at him and blocked their noses. (Blocking it from the smell) Plus, Harry Potter has a big nose.
I don't get Harry Potter anyway? Seriously? How can a Prince be half blooded?
I think he would die very quickly. Harry Potter farted again ( A big one) and flew off.
When is he going to graduate from High School anyway. IF he has saved the world like 100 times. At the End of the movie, I interviewed some of the "fans"
"Har-ry Pot-ter." One man said and laughed.
"I like Harry Potter and all, but you y'all know he should wear some cologne you know?" A teenage girl flying a red kite said.
Out of 5 Stars. I would rate it 2.4 times better than the first one. And 7.0 Times better than the 18th one.
Anyway I would rate it 0 stars since I have only seen commercials!
This Is Neko reporting. Teko is a big Harry Potter Fan...
So she would not like me saying mean stuff about Harry Potter's Serious Fire Face and Nose.
One last thing.
Harry Potter has a weird nose. :D


Today in Weather...
It will be stormy and have a chance of big banging rock music.
On Tuesday It will be Stormy with a big banging of Rock Music.
ON Wednesday It will be stormy with Justin Timberlake Falling from the Sky.
On Thursday, A big face will appear out of nowhere.
On Friday It will be doomsday!

Anyway today's top story!
Super Man was drinking beer.
Wolverine came up to him and said. "BUB give me back my beer." Wolverine snarled. "No!" Super man yelled. Then he turned into Madonna. Then Wolverine got really mad. I mean really really mad.
Superman farted, then a big face appeared out of nowhere and the world Blew Up.

Okay the World didn't blow up. But it swirled into a chaos of storms and big faces.

Okay so it didn't swirl into a chaos of storms.

The face appeared and took the beer. So Wolverine bought some more beer. (He had stolen money from Iron Man)
Then superman farted and the population went down.
Pokemon people came and started yelling weird stuff. Baguakon (something like pokemon) Came and ate the face.
Thanks for enjoying the Weather.
This Is Neko and Teko reporting about the weather. (It's more Exciting then you think)
If you have any ideas for articles.
Please Comment!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Purple Tongues

This is Neko and Teko reporting from the North Pole where Penguins and polar bears and beer lives.
What happened is A bear decided to drink some beer.
The beer had gone bad so The bear got swine flu turned into a pig and got a purple tongue.
So the bear eventually turned back into a bear using our Swine Flu cure. (I know we are soo awesome)
But, the bear still had the purple tongue.
Being Awesome like we are we made a cure for the purple tongue disease .
Which is eating popcorn, smelling bad smells (like farts), watching retarded Superman movies from the 1800's, and last but not least, Looking at Wolverine's Abs!
Warning, Side affects may include, an obsession for Wolverine's Abs!
Jumping at Beer bottles, dancing with brooms, mild scratching, highly cautioned farting and eating beer bottles and spitting your tongue out.
This is Neko and Teko reporting from the North Pole place with bad beer!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'm all Blades and Beer

Wolverine is mad at the ceiling. Well, we think he is...
He is staring at the ceiling.
So, Since Neko and Teko are on Vacation next week and may not be able to report... so we decided to write another article this week so you don't miss us!
Ok, If you read the article below this you know Iron Man was mad at the floor for taking his beer.
Wolverine is really obsessed with his beer. We decided to interview him.
"So, why are you mad?" We asked.
"I'm Wolverine, I'm all blades and beer. Okay, I went to the black grocery store place with smoke, And, (he snarls) They were out of Beer!" He answered.
"So, why don't you go to another store?" We asked.
"Who do you think I am Iron Man?" He snarled. (He snarls a lot)
Then Wolverine did something really weird. He took off his shirt. AHHHHH!
"What are you doing?" A mysterious voice called out. We turned and there was an old lady there. Wolverine made a angry face and shot out his blades. (Like in the picture)
"Don't you point those dirty things at me! Do you wash those things?" The old lady person yelled.
"Listen here Grandma!" Wolverine yelled. Pointing his blades at the old lady.
The Grandma person took out a pink purse and started hitting him.
"Put a shirt on!" She demanded. "Okay Lady! What's your problem?" He snarled (again) "Who are you calling Grandma?" The Lady Said. "What?" Wolverine snarled.
"I can't understand you Logan with all that snarling!" The Lady turned into Emma Frost. "Emma?" Wolverine gasped while snarling. "I'm not Emma, I'm Wynter!" She said. She turned into the girl who sings in the song Sugar by Flo-Rida. Then Flo-rida appeared and started singing. "What is wrong with you people? All I want is Beer!" Wolverine snarled. "Put a shirt on." Someone begged. "Alright!" Wolverine agreed.
"I'm going to destroy a Tv or something..." Wolverine walked out.
"Then some person named Bruno came out and flew a kite...
This Is Neko and Teko reporting from the smoke grocery store place
Remember Wolverine Is All Blades And Beer

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Iron Man- Floor Madness

Iron Man is very mad at the floor!
For some reason he does not like carpets.
Ya, Superheros can get a little coco after a while. So, Neko and Teko are on the scene asking why Iron Man is made at the Floor!
"Actually I am not mad at the floor I am mad at the carpet."
He confessed. "Why?" We asked.
(Hey we are reporters we ask a lot of questions)
"They yell and make fun of me! Plus they stole my Beer, It was no ordinary Beer it was cheesed flavored." He added.
"So what are you going to do about it?" We asked again.
"Punch it until It gives me my beer back." Iron Man yelled.
Then all of a sudden Iron Man made squeaking Guinea Pig noises while punching the floor.
I think Iron Man may need to see a doctor.
Then the other "not as cool as us Press showed up"
"Tony Stark." They started Yelling!
"How do they know my identity?" He questioned. His face shocked. (how is that possible when he is wearing iron?) "Uh, Duh, Your on TV and in comics!" Teko pointed out. "I will forget my madness at the carpet, I will hunt down these so called "comics" and stop them from doing anymore evil!" Iron Man said Mechanical.
Then theme song music started playing out of no where! In a Jump and a Leap and wires attached to his suit, Iron Man flew off into the painted sunset.
This is Neko and Teko reporting from Carpet place that eats beer!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

"Laffy Taffy" Is not that Laffy.

Don't Trust that picture!
I know what you are thinking.
"Mmmm, that candy reminds me of wolverine's abs."
Okay You probably are not thinking that.
This Candy is Evil.
Now, If you look in the corner, you will see a green package labeled "Laffy Taffy."
See Laffy Taffy started the invasion.
We are getting ahead of ourselves.
Laffy Taffy, sneak into police stations all over North America, you see the police went,
"OMG! Free Laffy Taffy!" So they ate it you know. Then they burst out loud in laughter. The Laffy Taffy had some how made it so they burst out laughing.
Pure Evil....
They created an army of Candy and went to attack the police stations trying to take over North America (Finally someone who doesn't want to take over the world)
How were they stopped from turning the North America countrys into a candy land (Yay!)
They were kinda eaten... All of them so none of them were left.
To Celebrate!
Laffy Taffy for everyone!
This is Neko and Teko Reporting from The Candy Place with Laffy Taffy!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Revenge Of the Wafer Cookies!

Don't let these yummy looking cookies fool you! They may look like a yummy treat but, they have broke almost all the laws!
Okay, some are okay, The ones that broke the laws are apart of R.O.T.W.C. (Revenge of the Wafer Cookies)
We decided to talk to a police officer about this. His name was Bobby Bobtis Bobbilons.

"So, how much laws has these wafer cookies broke?" We asked.
"Uh, almost every one, they have robbed banks, stolen jewels, speeding down the highway..." He explained,
"Wait, How do they do this?" We interrupted.
"They just slide, around, I guess no one suspects a wafer cookie." He said,
"Do they have a weakness?" We asked.
"Oh, ya and a punishment!" He got up and left the room.
He came back in 2 minutes carrying a jar of squirming wafer cookies.
One was Pink, three were white, and two were chocolate.
Bobby Bobtis Bobilons, took one from the jar,
"This is Sweetheart." He said holding the pink one in the air.
"Noooo," The pink cookie screamed.
But it was to late, Bobby Bobtis Bobilons has swallowed and chewed up Sweetheart the pink cookie.
We each "punished" a wafer cookie.
This is Neko and Teko reporting from The police station.
If you see a wafer cookie moving around by itself, eat it or call the police if you are allergic!

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